She is my "Biffle" - (on Urbandictionary.com defined as: "Best Friend (s) for Life - BFFL"). She is my best friend. She is a blessing in my life that, until recently, I never even knew I had. She is my "baby" sister. My cheerleader. My inspiration and my light. She is my angel.
There are a great many sisters out there that refer to each other as "best friends". They can site all kinds of events and moments that solidify their relationship. And to have a sister as your best friend is a beautiful thing. To have your baby sister become your hero is amazing. It is inspiring, humbling and enlightening.
Her name is Nicole Julie. She was born just as I was turning 10 - making her a full decade younger than me. She was in diapers when I was hitting puberty. She was singing into a play microphone, watching herself on TV; her wild curls sticking out haphazardly, her little lips twisted up into a pout; as I was starting to discover "cute" boys. She was starting Kindergarten as I hit 10th grade. Sure I loved her but it was a relationship that basically consisted of me taking care of her. Never could I imagine that it would come full circle and at age 18 she would be the one to "take care of" me.
When there are 10 years between you & your baby sister, some things are just expected. I am supposed to love her, protect her and guide her to the right path. I am expected to provide a good example for her to follow. I teach her about life and she learns about it and no one thinks it can be the other way because what could I possibly learn from her when I have already been there, done that? The little sister learns, the older sister teaches. Those are the rules. Or so they say.
But Nicole is not your average "little sister". Right from the beginning she was truly her own person. From the spunky way she would grab everyone's attention and hold it as long as she was in the room to the ways her beautiful mind showed itself even at a young age (President of her school 4th grade and 8th grade). She was a beautiful and unique individual right from the start. Almost as if she knew that she had to make an impression on the world. And it is all effortless. She simply knows who she is and what she wants and she does it or gets it because she can. There is no rebelliousness, no attitude. Just Nicole radiating from beneath her beautiful tan skin, mesmerizing brown eyes and mischievous smile. Nicole Julie. A flip of her luxurious wavy brown hair, a twist of her hips, a whisper of a touch from her hand and she could have you eating out the palm of her hand. No excuses or fear, no trickery or magic. Just a beauty that affects even the coldest person. An intelligence that is limitless.
Being the oldest, I faced everything before her. All the boy problems, all the family problems, all the school problems and especially all the "life" problems. I took it all on my shoulders, hoping to shield my sister from them. I created a world where I was carrying most of the weight and when I finally looked up for some help, when the load became too much to bear, the person I least expected to be offering their hand (for lack of experience, not because I thought she wouldn't help) was Nicole. I always thought it would be my aunt, our other sister, even my cousin whom I was very close to (in age and in spirit). Anyone else, because they "understood" my plight (or so I thought), because they were in my age range or older. But they all turned away. They all left me broken and shattered just when I needed them the most. And Nicole; beautiful, compassionate, intelligent, wise-beyond-her-years, Nicole; she was standing there with her hand outstretched and a smile on her face. As if she had always been there waiting patiently for me to see that she is my angel.
Nicole Julie, my "Biffle" is the reason I have learned to view things from a positive angle. The world can be tumbling down around me and I know that me & my "Biffle" will get through it. There are moments that define your life, there are people who define it too. She is part of both. Knowing that she was born to help inspire me (when she got older) and knowing that I help inspire her has given me new passion to pursue my dreams. Knowing that no matter what I do or don't do I still have this absolutely wonderful sister in my corner; fighting right alongside me, laughing right alongside me, crying (if need be) right alongside me; has taught me that there is nothing I can not accomplish. She has been the biggest blessing I have ever received and I thank my Mom & God every morning and night for bringing her into my life.
The words to accurately describe how much I love this "little girl"-or more accurately-this "young woman" exist and I can sometimes hear them in my head. But they pop like bubbles if I try to put pen to paper for her kind of beauty can not be contained by words. It is rare and unique and shall be seen by all that experience it but can never be written. This may be the closest I ever get to pin-pointing it and even this does her no justice. I could not have dreamed up a better best friend, a better "Biffle" if I had 100 or 1 million years to do so and I am grateful for having been blessed with Nicole Julie in my life. She is my "Biffle".
